It is important to recognize we are not our feelings & our feelings do not define us.
Be honest, how do you feel when a colleague is rewarded with a promotion after implementing your idea for a product enhancement, a dissatisfied customer sends you a rude email, or a friend (who has been out of work longer than you) lands their dream position? Do you think you have no choice but to get wrapped up in unavoidable feelings of hurt, frustration, or insecurity?
What if instead, you imagined you were waiting on a bus to pull up. The buses all have destinations listed on the front that correspond to different feelings. A bus comes into view with a familiar, negative destination you know will place you in a never-ending cycle of rumination/downward spiral. When the driver slows down & opens the door, you choose to decline the ride & say you are waiting on a different bus. You decide you are in no hurry to get where you need to go until the right bus comes along that will deliver you to somewhere of value (a positive place of optimism, compassion or satisfaction). How could doing so change your life?
It is important to recognize we are not our feelings & our feelings do not define us. The “Wheel of Feelings” contains the entire spectrum of feelings that human beings have. Successful people will have all the feelings some of the time. For example, when an individual feels insecure, it does not mean anything. It is only a feeling they are experiencing in the present moment & it will pass.
We have more control over our feelings that we may think, but it takes consistent practice:
-Acknowledge the feelings
-Refrain from placing judgment about them
-Choose not to engage – let the feelings pass by like a bus you do not need to board
-Stay present by focusing on taking your breath/surroundings
The goal is to gain greater freedom reminding yourself that you do not need to accept every feeling as it appears. R U ready to “optimize the bus routes you take?” R U Ready to Achieve can help.
